This is the second and final part of guest contributor Bexy’s post retorting an asinine article in the cauldron of the interwebs. Check out the first part here.

Unfortunately, Cashman and the Steinbrenner family went for what is hot. The Yankees went through a decade long title drought despite signing young, big-name free agents Jason Giambi, Mike Mussina, Gary Sheffield, Randy Johnson, Alex Rodriguez, Kevin Brown, Jose Contreras, Javier Vazquez, Bobby Abreu, Hideki Matsui, Robin Ventura, Raul Mondesi, Esteban Loaiza, Jeff Weaver, Kei Igawa, Carl Pavano, Jaret Wright, Jon Lieber, Sterling Hitchcock, Tony Womack, Ruben Sierra, John Olerud, Johnny Damon, Pudge Rodriguez, Kyle Farnsworth, Xavier Nady, LaTroy Hawkins, and Kenny Lofton.

I am literally laughing out loud at “Randy Johnson” and “young” being in the same sentence.

And “young, big-name free agents”? There’s so much wrong with that. Let’s see how these guys were acquired, and how old they were in their first year with the Yankees.
Jason Giambi: free agency, 31
Mike Mussina: free agency, 32
Gary Sheffield: free agency, 35
Randy Johnson: trade, 41
Alex Rodriguez: trade, 29
Kevin Brown: trade, 39
Jose Contreras: free agency, 31
Javier Vazquez: trade, 28
Bobby Abreu: trade, 32
Hideki Matsui: free agency, 29
Robin Ventura: trade, 34
Raul Mondesi: trade, 31
Esteban Loaiza: trade, 32
Jeff Weaver: trade, 25
Kei Igawa: free agency, 27
Carl Pavano: free agency, 29
Jaret Wright: free agency, 29
Jon Lieber: free agency, 34
Sterling Hitchcock: free agency, 31 (I’m assuming he’s talking about after 2001, because Hitchcock is actually from the Yankees’ farm system)
Tony Womack: free agency, 35
Ruben Sierra: free agency, 37
John Olerud: free agency, 35
Johnny Damon: free agency, 32
Pudge Rodriguez: trade, 36
Kyle Farnsworth: free agency, 30
Xavier Nady: trade, 29
LaTroy Hawkins: free agency, 35
Kenny Lofton: free agency, 37

Some of these moves were great. Some of these moves were terrible. However, they were not all “young, big-name free agents.” Not many of them were signed when they were under 30, and the Yankees got a bunch of them through trades.

Unfortunately, almost all of these moves did not work out. No offense to these players, but they lack the winning mentality of the old guards.
Of those guys that Tyson listed, Sheffield, Johnson, A-Rod, Kevin Brown, Contreras, Matsui, Weaver, Pavano, Womack, Olerud, Damon, and Pudge have all won a World Series.

It was no surprise that Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Andy Petitte, Roger Clemens, and Jorge Posada are usually the most reliable performers in the playoff.
Oh my gosh, what an original thought. No one ever said this before. Though, to give Tyson some credit, people usually don’t put Clemens in that group. They put Scotty Bro instead.

The classless behaviors did not end here. Petitte was lowballed by the Yankees and angrily left to play for his hometown team, the Houston Astros, with his buddy Clemens.
If you’re gonna be so incredibly insulted on the guy’s behalf, you should, like, get his name right. And I know that I am still upset that Andy hated us so much after he left for Houston that he never had anything to do with the Yankees ever again. Wait, what?

Joe Torre was publicly insulted by both statements made by George Steinbrenner as well as an “incentive-based” contract that he rejected as a “slap in the face”. It was no surprise that the Yankees did not win a championship until 2009.
We treated Joe Torre so badly that it cursed us so that we had to wait A WHOLE YEAR to win the World Series after he left. Truly, we are the most unfortunate fan base in the world.

Now in 2009, we seemed to be reliving the nightmares of 2000-2001 all over again.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDDD WE ONLY MADE IT TO THE WORLD SERIES TWICE IN TWO YEARS AND WON ONE (AFTER WINNING THE PREVIOUS TWO, AND THREE IN FOUR YEARS) AND WERE TWO OUTS AND A STUPID MISPLAYED THROW TO SECOND AWAY FROM WINNING ANOTHER WHY AM I A FAN OF SUCH A CURSED FRANCHISE WITH NO SUCCESS????

Longtime contributors Johnny Damon, Hideki Matsui, and Chien-Ming Wang are ushered out despite reasonable contract demand.
Wait, I thought Damon and Matsui were young, big-name free agents who are “hot” and lack the winning mentality of the old guard?! Stop confusing me, Tyson! And the Yankees gave Damon a plenty reasonable contract, which he turned down. That’s why he’s not with the team any more.

(Yes, I don’t care that Damon and Matsui played in hitter-friendly Yankees stadium. Numbers are numbers. Damon is an annual 20-20 threat. His bat is more than good enough for corner outfielders. Wang will take an incentive-laden one year contract anyway.)
Johnny Damon’s hit 20 HRs and stolen 20 bases in the same season once in his fifteen-year career, in 2006. And, actually, at least based on a one-year sample size, the new Yankee Stadium is not hitter friendly. Note that it’s #20, sandwiched between Oakland and friggin’ Safeco. YSIII is extremely home-run friendly, but it suppresses all other kinds of hits. We need more years of data to make a definitive conclusion, but for now, let’s not act like it’s Coors East. Anyway, Matsui actually did much better away from Yankee Stadium in 2009 (.816 OPS at home, .949 OPS away). Damon did much better at Yankee Stadium in 2009 (.915 OPS at home, .795 OPS away). Matsui, if he stays healthy, will probably be fine, but Damon might really miss Yankee Stadium.

Once again, the Yankees are infatuated by mediocre free agents and trade for unproven, flawed players who happened to be young.
They overpaid for disable list mainstay Nick Johnson (5 million)
So you slam the Nick Johnson signing because NJ’s hurt a lot, but you wanted to resign Wang? That doesn’t make any sense. And if Nick Johnson is healthy, $5M isn’t overpaying for him by a long shot.

when they could have kept Matsui for around the same price. Johnson is not your average DH/1B. He lacks power and constantly gets injured.
No, Nick Johnson’s strength isn’t hitting for power. His strength is getting on base and therefore not making outs. That’s a very good skill to have in the game of baseball, and he does that at an elite level. He’s #9 on the active list of highest career OBP. Above him are guys with names like Albert Pujols and Manny Ramirez. Dude’s got a better career OBP than Rickey Henderson, Joe DiMaggio, and Joe Morgan. Nick’s ridiculously good at getting on base.

With Texeira on board, Johnson, who can only play 1B, will have no choice but to play full-time DH.
Because limiting an injury-prone guy’s time in the field is such a bad thing to do amirite?

Better DH options such as Jim Thome, Jermaine Dye, Carlos Delgado, Russell Branyan, and Gary Sheffield could all be had for considerable less money and Johnson is as big an injury risk as all of the aforementioned, yet they let Matsui go and replace him with Johnson out of all people.
You can’t go BOOOO NICK JOHNSON SUCKS BECAUSE HE CAN ONLY PLAY 1B AND HE GETS HURT ALL THE TIME then whine about not getting Jim Thome, Carlos Delgado, Jermaine Dye, Russell Branyan, Gary Sheffield, and Hideki Matsui. That makes no sense. All those guys are awful fielders with a lot of injury issues.

Hell, if you want to save money, why not just let Juan Miranda take over at DH?
I dunno, maybe they don’t think he’s ready or able to provide the type of production the position would dictate? He has a whopping 23 major league PA and until very recently, had a terrifying platoon split.

Javier Vazquez is great in the NL, but already prove to be mediocre in the AL, especially against the star studded lineup of AL East foes.
I think the “Javy is great in the NL only” argument is based a little too much on his 2009 with Atlanta, where he was insanely good. He had one great year with the White Sox, too. Maybe he just learned how to pitch really, really well last year and will now keep that up for the rest of his major league career? (Please, Javy?)

Also, nobody is asking him to be what he was with Atlanta. They’re just asking him to be better than what he was in 2004. I think he can do that, especially considering that he was injured in the second half of that year. Look at his first-half numbers of 2004 and his second half numbers. But maybe I’m just a CRAZY OPTIMIST OMG. If I only had the sage wisdom of Mr. Tyson C. Oh, what a world.

No one knows if Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes can cut it as a starter for a full season either. Both could very well flame out as starters and become career-long relievers.
Well let’s just give up on them RIGHT NOW because Tyson says so. Sure, maybe they won’t be starters, but let’s give them a chance. Worst case scenario, they turn into awesome relievers. Best case scenario, they’re aces or above-league-average starters. Whatever the case, there’s pretty much no way either of those guys can be worse as the fifth starter in 2010 than what the Yankees’ fifth starter was in 2009.

To add insult to injury, they added another weak bat in Randy Winn to their mediocre, power-starved outfield. Both newly-acquired Curtis Granderson and Nick Swisher cannot hit for average.
You can’t call the outfield “power-starved” then dump on Curtis Granderson and Nick Swisher. Granderson hit 30 home runs last year. Swisher hit 29. Of course, home runs aren’t the only factor in measuring the power of a hitter. Granderson has a career ISO of .211 and Swisher, .216. For context, those numbers are comparable to guys like Carlos Beltran, Johnny Bench, Hanley Ramirez, Jeff Kent, and David Wright. And please remember that by the time we clinched the World Series, our outfield was Jerry Hairston Jr., Brett Gardner, and Nick Swisher.

Granderson probably is best suited to be a platoon player given that he clearly cannot hit lefties.
I guess at least this guy isn’t insisting he’s a switch-hitter? (RAB joke, holla!) And you’re right, he’s not very good at hitting lefties. Most players have some kind of weakness. He’s pretty damn good at doing everything else, though. There’s a fair chance Granderson improves in 2010; he’d never done worse in his professional career than he did last year. Moving toward his statistical mean is likely.

Winn has never been great and at this point of his career, hit for neither power or average.
He hit .300 in 2007 and .306 in 2008. I’d call that “hitting for average.” He had an awful 2009, probably because he had a sweet .585 OPS at huge-ass AT&T Park. Could have also been his lower-than-usual BABip or his outlier line against lefties in 2009 (.158-.184-.200). Even being terrible offensively in 2009, he put up a 1.7 WAR last year by being a pretty darn good defensive player in a relatively small sample size. If he can just do that again, he’ll actually be more valuable than the peanuts the Yankees paid him.

And though coaches can only do so much, something tells me the Yankees’ hitting coaches are a little better than the Giants’. Call it a hunch.

Both Brett Gardner and Winn (and maybe Swisher as well) probably should not be starting for a major league team.
I can’t make definitive statements about Brett Gardner because his major league career so far is more or less a small sample size. I think we’d be plenty happy if he repeated or slightly improved on what he did last year, especially because his production might have been cut down a bit by the hand injury. Randy Winn is a very good defender who’s been league average throughout his career. Those guys aren’t superstars, but they’re valuable, especially because the Yankees aren’t paying them a whole lot of money. The Swisher thing is just stupid.

To make matters worse, the Yankees are classless and cheap enough to not resign AJ Burnett’s personal catcher, Jose Molina, a savvy veteran who calls a great game.
Who the hell gets this upset about Jose Molina? His career OPS+ is 60. His OPS+ with the Yankees is 58, including 51 OPS+ in both 2008 and 2009. He is below replacement value offensively. And sure, he calls a great game. If Posada had caught Burnett in Game 5 of the World Series, AJ clearly would have given up 345 runs.

Molina probably cost more money than he was really worth and the Yankees have a surplus of cheap catchers in their system. From what we’ve seen so far, which is admittedly a small sample size, Cervelli’s a really good defensive catcher like Molina was. He’s not brilliant with the bat, but he actually does better than Molina there (SSS warning).

Their bullpen, except for Mariano Rivera, are full of minor league free agents, failed starters, and retreads.
Mariano Rivera’s a failed starter. Also, the best bullpens are full of minor league free agents, failed starters, and retreads. That’s why they’re bullpen guys, because they’re not good enough to start. For what it’s worth, the approach of a cheap patchwork bullpen filled with internal options does just as well (and recent history suggests better) than high-priced Free Agent acquisitions.

Why sign Winn and Johnson when Jermaine Dye, Gary Sheffield, Felipe Lopez (dude can play pretty much everywhere.), Garrett Anderson, Brian Giles, and Russell Branyan can all be had for cheap?
Dye: would not be had for cheap, that’s why he didn’t sign anywhere
Sheffield: not a bad idea in principle, but I just can’t see him coming back to the Yankees. Also, you just called him one of the young hot free agents that didn’t know how to win or whatever.
Felipe Lopez: dude does not play the outfield so he wouldn’t help us there
Garrett Anderson: injury issues have made him decidedly meh since 2004 or so
Brian Giles: retired, therefore not available
Russell Branyan: coming off back surgery, woefully inconsistent. Also, you can’t whine about Swisher and Granderson not hitting for average when this guy’s nickname is Three True Outcomes.

Why not bring back Damon or Matsui?
Because Damon didn’t want to take a big pay cut from the Yankees, who offered him the best deal he got anyway, and Matsui wants to play the outfield which the Yankees know is an awful idea? Oh, and Matsui’s knees acted up the first day of Spring Training.

Why leave your bullpen in tatters when proven reliever such as Chan Ho Park, Kiko Calero, David Weathers, Jeff Weaver, Kevin Gregg, Russ Springer, Chad Bradford, Guillermo Mota, Ron Mahay, and Joe Beimel can’t even find a major league contract?
Well, since he wrote this, we signed Chan Ho Park so THANK GOD OUR BULLPEN IS OKAY NOW or something. Anyway, sure, the Yankee bullpen is in tatters. It just led us to a 100+ win season and a World Series championship when our fifth starter was a rotating door of shit and the fourth starter hadn’t gone more than like five innings since August; it clearly sucks.

Also, why are you condemning our bullpen for being full of failed starters and retreads when that’s what a bunch of these guys that you’re dying to sign are? Yeah, sorry, I’m not gonna write the front office in protest if they don’t sign Russ Springer. I know you can’t ever have enough pitching and it’s true, but wasting money on guys that are downright bad now and were never really good to begin with has no point (CHP isn’t one of these guys, him and Calero are way better than the rest of the people he listed, though Calero’s injury history is checkered).

Why have question marks in your rotation when you can either bring back Wang or sign Pedro Martinez to a very reasonable contract?
Chien-Ming Wang, who’s coming off shoulder surgery, will be a question mark in a rotation, especially considering that he’s not ready to start the season. The current version of Pedro Martinez, who hasn’t pitched a full season since 2005 due to tons of injuries, will be a question mark in a rotation. Signing Pedro at this point would be good for only one thing: the endless humor a Pedro/Posada battery would provide.

As a lifelong Yankees fan, this offseason is a nightmare just like back in 2001. It will be a longtime before Yankees faithful holds another parade.
Ugh. This article made me [sic].

You all will have to forgive me for being so snarky. I’m just really angry that the Yankees actually won the World Series so I can’t publish my masterwork The Curse of Glenallen Hill. I mean, the Yankees totally fell apart when they heartlessly got rid of him, his veteran savvy, and his invaluable contributions to the team that had been going on for years. Think about it!!!!

Well this concludes our special on shaming short-sighted, irrational, hyperbolic bloggers. Thanks for reading!

Friend and First Lady of M&A, Bexy, or “Bexarama” to some, recently came across a Bleacher Report article so saturated in doltishness, she felt compelled to respond.

After hours of having been shelled with spats of narrow-minded nonsense from the flat-earthed sportscaster Joe Morgan on a televised ESPN game, I sought refuge on the internet. With it, I must admit that for better or worse, my outlook on baseball changed drastically. I was not alone. In fact, there was a whole community of people rallying against the many sportscasters who propagate false narrative and laugh in the face of irrefutable evidence. My inspiration for change? The first result on my search: FireJoeMorgan, by the comedy master Michael Schur operating under the pseudonym “Ken Tremendous.”

Fire Joe Morgan mostly mocked stupidity in the national sports media, but it’s made me rather hyper-sensitive to stupidity amongst those who write and talk about sports in general. So when I found this article by Tyson C. on the tumor-stimulating Bleacher Report, I was very, very, very excited indeed. Keep in mind, it’s from about a month ago, so some things are outdated.

Preface: I know, I know, it’s unfair for me to attack some random person on Bleacher Report when Jon Heyman is getting paid like a mrazillion dollars to vote for K-Rod in the top spot in AL MVP voting in 2008 and condemn Andrew Bailey for being “a closer on a loser,” but what can I say, the muse moves us all in mysterious ways.

In 2000, the Yankees won their third titles in four years. After barely missing out on another title the following year, it was no doubt that George Steinbrenner ran the most successful franchise in professional sports.

Super writing fail: tasty.

Instead of rewarding who played their asses off for the organization, they got rid of long-time contributors Tino Martinez, Paul O’Neill (retirement). Chuck Knoblauch, David Cone, Scott Brosius, Luis Sojo, Orlando Hernandez, David Justice, Glenallen Hill, Alfonso Soriano, Shane Spencer, Enrique Wilson, Denny Neagle, Jeff Nelson, Jose Canseco, Mike Stanton, and Dwight Gooden all in a span of two years. The classless way they ran the team soon came back to haunt them.
Hmmm. Let’s take this assertion on a case-by-case basis.

Tino Martinez: It was probably not a particularly smart move to get rid of him when we did, though it’s understandable why; Tino was a good player, but he wasn’t the elite hitter you want out of a first baseman, whereas Giambi was. You win, Tyson!

Paul O’Neill: He retired, sending white people everywhere into an irrational rage.

Chuck Knoblauch: Chucky had a 100 OPS+ in four years with the Yankees. He topped out with a 112 OPS+ in 1999. That’s decent production if Knoblauch had been an elite defensive 2B, but he wasn’t, especially because he fell off a cliff after 1999. By the 2000 playoffs, he couldn’t play second base at all; he was the DH or he pinch-ran. He was the main left fielder on the 2001 Yankees, but he played that position terribly and had an 82 OPS+ to boot. He moved on to the Kansas City Royals in 2002 after the Yankees let him go, where he posted a 50 OPS+ in 336 PA, then retired. His value was a negative at that point. Keeping him wouldn’t have accomplished anything other than making the Yankees a worse team. This might make sense for the Mets, but not for the Yankees.

David Cone: I love Coney, but his wheels fell off in 2000. He had a 6.91 ERA (!!!) with an ugly WHIP of 1.768 and OPSA of .891. He was getting at least somewhat unlucky, with a crazy .345 BABIP and a FIP lower than his ERA by about a run and a half, but keep in mind, he was getting paid $12M in 2000, which probably explains why he wasn’t taken out of the rotation altogether. That $12M was the third-highest salary in the AL, the sixth-highest in all of baseball, and more than anyone else on the team save Bernie. Cone was okay with the Red Sox in 2001, with a 4.31 ERA in 135.2 innings, but it’s understandable why the team let him walk, especially when they signed Moose.

Scott Brosius: He retired; he also kind of sucked. A bizarrely high number of people, however, love reminiscing over his good games. Like, all four of them.

Luis Sojo: Sojo was mostly a utility guy. He had a career OPS+ of 71 and never once had an OPS+ of 100 or better. Heck, in a 13-year career, he only OPS+ed over 90 twice. In seven years with the Yankees, he had an OPS+ of 62. In 2001 he only had 84 PA so it’s a very small sample size, but he posted an OPS of seven. Yes, that’s the number seven. Not seventy. Seven. Again, keeping him wouldn’t have accomplished anything other than making the Yankees a worse team.

Orlando Hernandez: Like with Cone, I am a huge fan of El Duque, but the guy is like 89 years old. The Old Man and the Sea is actually about him, believe it or not. He was also frequently injured. We traded him to the White Sox, who traded him to the Expos, after 2002 (not after 2001), where he spent the entire 2003 season sidelined with rotator cuff surgery.

David Justice: Justice was awesome in 2000. We might not have won without him. However, groin injury (if you were a dude married to Halle Berry, I think you’d have a groin injury too. From, you know, overuse. THANK YOU I WILL BE HERE ALL NIGHT!) sapped a lot of his usefulness in 2001. At the age of 35, he posted a 98 OPS+ and mostly DHed. He had a decent year in Oakland when the Yankees let him go after 2001, but Oakland had signed him as basically just an “experiment” to see if older players lost their batting eye or not. Not the greatest vote of confidence.

Glenallen Hill: He was very good with the Yankees in 2000, he was 35 and strictly a DH. Oh, and more importantly, he had a grand total of 143 PA with the Yankees. How can you say he was a “long-time contributor” when he had 143 PA with the organization?! He went to the California/Anaheim/Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of the United States of America of the Universe after 2000, where he got 66 PA and posted a sweet .318 OPS. He retired before June 2001. Again, keeping him would have done nothing but make the Yankees a worse team. You might be sensing a pattern here.

Alfonso Soriano: Well, we didn’t get rid of him until after 2003, so really you shouldn’t include him in this massive group, but anyway, we traded him for Alex Rodriguez. I’d say that trade worked out pretty damn well. And, for what it’s worth, Soriano, who was once a great offensive player at a premium position, recently posted a negative WAR for the Cubs. The Friendly Confines ain’t so friendly when he’s up to bat.

Shane Spencer: Shane Spencer’s story is fun. He was one of the only “scab” replacement players of the strike-shortened 1994 season to have actually made some impact in The Show. He came up from the minors in 1998, and in 73 PA, hit 10 home runs including three grand slams, slugged .910, and had a totally ridiculous 1.321 OPS. Shane’s career after that wasn’t quite so awesome, though. After 1998, with the Yankees, he posted an 89 OPS+. His non-Yankee career consists of, again, an 89 OPS+, and getting hurt a whole bunch. Hmmm, it’s almost like you can’t use small sample sizes to determine a player’s true ability! I’ve never heard something so crazy in my life!
Enrique Wilson: Again, he left the Yankees after 2004, so he’s not in the post-2000 and/or 2001 sobfest group (OH MY GOD WE WERE CURSED BY GLENALLEN HILL, WEREN’T WE?). Anyway, we all know Enrique Wilson was on the team primarily because for whatever reason, he hit Pedro really well, albeit in like 25 at-bats. In his four years with New York, he had a 56 OPS+. At anything other than batting against Pedro, he was more or less downright awful. Repeat after me, kiddies: again, keeping him would have done nothing other than make the team worse.

Denny Neagle: He pitched in 16 total games for the Yankees with a 5.81 ERA. He then pitched for Colorado in 2001, 2002, and 2003, posting ERAs of 5.38, 5.26, and 7.90 (with FIPs of 4.81, 5.00, and 7.36). Not a “long-time contributor,” and again, keeping him would have simply made the team worse.

Jeff Nelson: It was not the greatest move to get rid of him, but he was just a bullpen guy. Due to the volatility of relievers, most are expendable.

Jose Canseco: Um, HAHAHAHA at the idea of getting rid of Jose Canseco being a move that was ~not classy~ that cursed the Yankees. But anyway, he had 137 PA with the Yankees, where he OPS+ed 103. That’s not a “long-time contributor.”

Mike Stanton: He left after 2002, not 2001. Like Nelson, maybe not the greatest move to get rid of him, but he was just a bullpen guy.

Dwight Gooden: He’d left the team after 1997. We only got him back in 2000, where he appeared in only 18 games, after the then-Devil Rays – admit it, you miss the tacky green uniforms and the ugly-ass font – cut him, and we signed him on a minor league deal. Then, we actually re-signed him after 2000. We cut him in Spring Training the next year.

But overall, this section can be summed up thusly: JOSE FRIGGING CANSECO!!!!!

If you’re still reading after all that, I salute you, dear reader. Check back tonight for the conclusion of the article.