The trade proposals for Lee and Haren did two things.  In Lee’s case it’s get one of the top 5 pitchers in baseball and make yourselves the undoubted favorite to win the World Series.  It also gave you the inside track to sign him long term in the offseason.  In Haren’s case it was get a legitimate top 20 pitcher who is signed for 3 years to a reasonable contract who can help you both short term and long term.  These deals made sense, unlike trading for Ted Lilly or someone of his ilk.

So how many other starting pitchers who are (even slightly) available would I want the Yankees to trade for right now?  After scouring every roster in the majors, I have come up with one definite and two maybes.  That’s it.  The definite is Zack Greinke.  He would help the team both short term and long term, though I do not advocate trading for him as the Royals would have to completely win the trade. Any acquisition of Greinke would be a total overpay and not worth it in the long term.  It’s not necessary.  The two others I would consider would be Chad Billingsley and Ricky Nolasco, but I don’t think they would provide much in the short term.  Neither of them are having great years and there would certainly be a NL to AL transition.  While I would like to have either of them long term, I wouldn’t trade for them right now as the cost would likely be too high, and the payoff for 2010 wouldn’t be great.

Long story short: The Yankees are fine with their starting pitching.  The shots they took at Lee and Haren made sense, but those two were truly special scenarios.  Whether it’s Mitre, Moseley or a minor leaguer, the Yankees can survive this.

The NHL recently rejected the contract signed by Ilya Kovalchuk with the New Jersey Devils as they rule it was designed to circumvent the salary cap. No shit. That was the whole point. The Devils signed a deal that was within the bounds of the collective bargaining agreement and it has been overturned. I really hope they fight it, as it should be a pretty black and white issue. The loophole has been exposed and the NHL can’t do anything about it now. They can certainly try to address it in the next CBA, but until they have to live with missing this way around the rules. It may not be in the spirit of the rules, but if it’s within the rules, the NHL should back off. Several other deals have been signed in a similar fashion and not been overturned. Just because the Devils went the furthest in pushing the boundaries they shouldn’t be penalized for taking advantage. The good news for them, however, is that people are talking about the NHL again.

Andy Pettitte is hurt for the Yankees, and now, God forbid, they only have 4 good starters in their rotation. Trade rumors are flying, but the Yankees shouldn’t (and likely won’t) do anything they wouldn’t have done before Pettitte got hurt. They likely won’t have Pettitte for 5-6 starts. They are already in 1st place. Last year they got 24 starts from a terrible Chien-Ming Wang, Sergio Mitre and Chad Gaudin. They also got 7 pretty poor starts from Phil Hughes and had an inconsistent and innings limited Joba in the rotation all year. Many of those bad early season starts (especially Wang and Hughes) were when the Yankees weren’t in 1st place. Last years team, despite these weaknesses in the rotation was pretty damn good. There is absolutely zero need to make a trade with Pettitte out.

Pedro Martinez announced today that he will not pitch at all this year. Hopefully he doesn’t pitch again. Not that it’s my place to tell him when to stop, but the more he goes out there with mediocre (or worse) stuff and struggles even in the NL, the less people will remember how great he was. His peak was beyond ridiculous (his Baseball-Reference page looks like video game stats), and I hate to see him trying to get by with a 85 MPH fastballs. As Neil Young sang “It’s better to burn out, than to fade away” and I’d much rather Pedro just get his jumpstart on Cooperstown now. If he decides to come back in 2011 good for him, and I won’t question him for it, I’d just rather him stay away.

USC is returning Reggie Bush’s Heisman trophy. I have major issues with this. Number one, any money or cars or jewelry Bush took while at USC did not make him a better football player. He, on the field, earned that Heisman trophy. Number two, is USC also going to return the millions and millions of dollars that Reggie Bush (and his teammates) earned for the university? Something tells me no. They look the other way for years, but now that Bush is long gone, he’s a bad guy? Screw that. Either go all in with separating yourself from the Bush years or have his back. It’s two-faced the way they are doing it now. What’s next, are they going to bash LenDale White for his recent drug suspension, as if he wasn’t likely using at USC? How about Brian Cushing, who had steroid whispers going back to high school before recently being suspended for a positive test? Are the Trojans going to volunteer to wipe out any of what Cushing did? Cushing’s steroid use improved his performance and affected the playing field. Bush taking some (well earned) money did not. USC can’t have it both ways.

Mike Jacobs, former Royal, before striking out.

I’d like to introduce a very special guest today, Royals GM Dayton Moore. Moore has been at the helm of Kansas City since 2006 and has guided the Royals to a record of 1-0 if the criteria were futility and success. That’s tough to beat. Heck, even the Pirates have developed some nice pieces and have made a few shrewd decisions of late. I interviewed Moore this morning. Check it out.

JMK: Thanks for being here, Dayton. Let’s start with player development. Why the decision to send Alex Gordon back to the minors?

Moore: Pleasure to be here, JMK. That’s easy, c’mon, give me a hard question! Alex Gordon was hitting .194  when we sent him down. It was also clear that we had much better players at third base in Willie Bloomquist, who’s sure to have his number retired here in Kansas City when his career is over. We didn’t want Gordon blocking younger, more talented players like Bloomy and Callapso. Gordon single-handedly set this franchise back a few years.

JMK: But Dayton, both Bloomquist and Callapso are older than Gordon and I’m guessing 9 out of 10 people, you being the odd man out, would say Gordon has far more talent. Also, Gordon only played in 12 games. Is it fair to say that was his baseline? His peripherals seem to indicate the numbers would have improved.

Moore: Are they older? They have young faces. Look just like kids. You have to remember that I was a scout. I see things differently. I have extreme talent as a player evaluator. Bloomquist and Callapso are better than Gordon. Anyway, left field is a far more valuable position defensively and knowing that we won’t be able to retain David DeJesus and having such promising players like Callapso and Bloomquist, we sent Gordon down to work on his swing and learn the outfield. As a scout, I saw mechanical problems with Gordon’s swing. They had to be fixed in AAA. 12 games is more than enough time to determine if someone is ready or not.

JMK: Isn’t 3rd base is a far more valuable position than left field? Beyond that, Gordon has posted a line of .322/.446/.579 in the minors and was pretty decent at 3rd a few years ago. Is he that bad now he’d need to be moved off position? And hasn’t his performance in AAA assuaged some concerns about his hitting? What more can he do down there?

Moore: Nope, that’s incorrect. Erratic outfielders of mediocre or limited ability, middle relief pitchers and first basemen/DH-types are the most valuable. Those are the big-money players. We don’t think Gordon will ever be the player we thought he’d be when we drafted him, but he can still be a very important piece of what we’re doing down in Omaha.

There are mechanical issues with his swing. Every time he swings he turns almost completely around and for some reason always seems to run the opposite direction of Kansas City. Sort of like how Huskies always run north, you know? Rick Ankiel had some weird shit like that too for a while, maybe we can get them to have lunch and talk about it. But we expect he and Kila should guide them to a few PCL championships before their time is up.

JMK: Speaking of Kila – he’s tearing the cover off the ball and has just mashed the minors the past few years. He’s 26 now, like Gordon. Why haven’t you called him up?

Moore: As I said, he and Gordon are very key pieces to our Omaha AAA team. We want to get the players we feel can improve the big club used to winning. Those guys being around Gordon and Kila will develop some good confidence. They’ll win because Kila and Gordon are good AAA players but not good MLB players. They need to be accustomed to it. Kila stays and that’s the bottom line, same for Gordon. Besides, we brought him up last year. It wasn’t a big enough sample to show that he could stick in the majors. We have Billy Butler firmly entrenched as our 1B and Jose Guillen as our DH, both top-10 players in the game. No room for him with all this talent here in KC.

Alex Gordon, not Dayton Moore or owner David Glass, is why the Royals are in last place. Yep.

JMK: But Kila was up for 12 games in 2009. You just said that you evaluated Alex Gordon based on 12 games. Why the difference? And Butler may be a nice piece, but why continue to stick with Guillen? Even if he’s hitting fairly well, which he is, on his contract, he’s a net negative. That money could be used to improve the team in other ways, right?

Moore: Trust the process.

JMK: But…that doesn’t make sense. The process has been to spend tons of money on cruddy, expensive, injury-prone players at easy-to-fill positions, develop good prospects or haphazardly rush them and then inexplicably demote them, and then say, ‘trust the process.’ Or sometimes just not promote prospects who could help the team at all. Why should they trust that model? It doesn’t appear to work.

Moore: Look, we have a lot of very promising, solid players on our team. We’re going to compete. Soria, Butler, Greinke, Meche, Aviles are all very solid players. We have talent. But we are in a small market. One bad signing can cripple us for years. So we need to be very careful. We work really hard to get this right. We’ve made some really good signings and our teams are improving every year. Lots of folks thought we’d be a sleeper this year. If not for some injuries, we’d be running away with the Central.

JMK: I think it was Ken Griffey Jr. who said you’d be a sleeper. Also, has it really been one bad signing? Farnsworth, Ankiel, Guillen, Meche, Posednick, Sidney Ponson, Tony Pena Jr., Wilson Betemit, Coco Crisp, Bruce Chen, Mike Jacobs. Those are all bad signings; that’s a pattern. And those are within two years for the most part. Why not shy away from spending big money on guys like Farnsworth, Guillen and Soria and invest in player development and the draft or use it to reinforce more valuable positions? You’ve been successful lately going over the slot with draft picks and even dipping into IFA lately. Shouldn’t that be the approach? Extreme player development while retaining the best of a stocked farm? That could definitely work with a $75 million payroll, right?

Moore: Farnsworth has been really good this year, so has Soria. They’re worth the money. Not every player you sign works out. That’s just the way it is. But we’re certainly going to be investing time and resources into our farm system. We need the farm to be successful.

JMK: No. They’re not worth the money. On a different team, sure. But it doesn’t make sense to have a team with no shot of winning with expensive players in roles where they can’t be utilized to greatly impact winning records. It’s a poor allocation of resources. For fans in 20-something other cities, this isn’t “just the way it is.”

Moore: I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never heard the phrase about allocating things. My college degree is in Phys. Ed. That means I figure out how fast it takes someone to climb a rope with a stop watch. Slow down with these Ivy Tower words, kid. I’m not impressed.

JMK: Ok, well how about this. Slight change of topic. Getting back to Kila, as a suggestion, why not have Kila platoon at DH with Guillen to see what he has. Get him some regular ABs. Or at least trade one of them. Kila must have value. If you eat salary, Guillen would be a valuable commodity.

Kila Ka'ahuie of the baller AAA Omaha team. (Photo Credit: Christian Peterson/Getty Images)

Moore: Do you have any idea how much we’d be paying to have Jose on the bench? Like $6 million. Again, to repeat myself, Kila is needed in AAA. He means too much to us down there. We wouldn’t get much back for Guillen, either. Maybe a C+ prospect depending on if there’s a bell curve or a 12-6 curve (????).

JMK: But…you’d probably improve the club by doing this. You can’t offer him arb because he’d be making $12-14 million. He’d take that.

Moore: But Jose would probably set the place on fire and throw chairs at escaping children if he were traded or benched. Actually, if he were benched, we’d be spending so much money on lawyer fees for what he’d do, it would bankrupt this organization.

JMK: Fair point.

JMK: Ok, moving on. The team doesn’t appear that it can win the division this year. Likely not next year either. Maybe 2012, the last year of Greinke’s contract. So will you be sellers on the trade market?

Moore: Well, we still think we can compete but we’re going to stick with our organizational philosophy — we’re going to misappropriate money and target players in positions that can’t really help us win. So we’re definitely going to keep Soria as the closer. He might save 30 games for us. Can’t underestimate that. We’re considering putting Guillen on the market but with his price tag…I think he’s owed a lot of millions this year. Maybe we can get a someone like Ken Griffey for him.

JMK: You fired manager Trey Hillman earlier in the season and hired Ned Yost. Tell me what’s different about these managers.

Moore: Well Troy was a great guy and a baseball guy, but he wasn’t a major league baseball guy. The players in the clubhouse didn’t have respect for him, which is funny because most of our players don’t get respect from major league players on other teams, they always tell me. But getting back to Troy, we were impressed that he didn’t stress any of the fundamentals of baseball, so that games went on forever because of errors, walks and other stuff. But on the other hand, he shortened things, too. Guys just struck out left and right. The less time fans are in our stadium, the less time they have to buy our concession items. We felt a change was needed for those reasons. He also kept insisting that the team stock used girls’ panties in the vending machines like they did for him in Japan. But this is wholesome God’s country, so that was the final straw. We couldn’t keep him here after offending the Lord like that.

Ned Yost, on the other hand, was a big league guy. He’s been around clubhouses for a while and players listen to what he says. He may not have anything worthwhile to say, and he mostly spends screaming “Foul Ball!” for no apparent reason, and also has a gigantic blood vessel about to burst from his right eye, but he believes in the process. He’s telling our guys to believe they can win. Because they can. They have the talent. And when players are slumping, he’s guaranteed to stick with them, no matter how futile they are. And that’s good because our players have a good statistical record of futility. They need to feel comfortable, so staying in the same lineup slot regardless of performance was something we were looking for. We’re very pleased with Ned.

Hillman before being axed by Moore. (Photo Credit: Charlie Riedel/AP)

JMK: You’ve got a lot of really promising kids in the minors. Tell us about the development track for Mike Montgomery, Eric Hosmer, John Lamb, Will Myers, Mike Moustakas, David Lough,  Aaron Crow, Christian Colon, among others.

Moore: Those guys are our future. We need some help behind Zack [Greinke] and Gil Meche and Farnsworth. But they can help the bullpen immediately. You might see the pitchers up sooner than you think. We need some guys to provide depth for Callapso, Bloomquist, Yuni, Posednick and Butler.

JMK: Wait a second, you mean you don’t envision the current starters being the starters in a few years, right? Wouldn’t the top prospects be more than depth? Although he has some wild splits in a hitter’s league, Moustakas has really, really exploded this year. He could certainly be an All-Star. That’s a guy you’d want playing behind Callapso? Eric Hosmer could eventually come in and be a very solid power bat. Montgomery projects to be a #2 starter. Crow could also be a solid starter if given time to develop instead of lose value as a reliever, especially one as a middle reliever.

Moore: Trust the process. These guys are still young. They’ll have time to come up here, play 12 games and if they don’t hit four or five grand slams or at pitch at least 6 complete game shutouts, they’ll be back in Omaha. It’s really important that we win in Omaha.

JMK: But no one hits for those numbers in 12 games and the starters wouldn’t have enough starts to even throw 6 complete game shutouts.

Moore: We’re tired of excuses. We want results.

JMK: Well that just about settles it. Thanks for coming in and chatting today, Dayton. Congratulations on your 5-year extension. I’m sure we’ll see the Royals deep into the playoffs very soon.

Moore: Thanks, JMK. I want to thank all the Royals fans who have congratulated me on the extension by shopping for their useless shit at Wal-Mart.

Personally, I think there are several players in the Hall Of Fame who have used steroids. Tom House (a teammate of Hank Aaron, who um, didn’t age naturally) admitted to using steroids in the 70’s. He said 6 or 7 pitchers per team were using. Pitching staffs were what, 10, 11 deep then? So by his estimate, more than half of the pitchers were at least experimenting. Gee, do we think that hitters might have been too? Jim Rice got in primarily because people though his numbers were legit and he was clean. We know that he didn’t deserve to get in on his numbers, and to add insult to injury, we don’t know that he was clean!!!  I hate how the old school of baseball players get a pass when it comes to steroids, as they have been in the game at least since the 1970’s, likely earlier.  For example, consider the scenario below:

One in a billion arm? Or Steroids? Nobody his age should have been able to do the things he did, in the Texas heat, without a little help.

No, not Roger Clemens.  Nolan Ryan. Once Clemens was busted for juicing everyone said, of course he was juicing, you can’t do that at his age without help.  Well what if I told you that Ryan’s career path was a lot more unique and questionable than Clemens’ was. Nolan Ryan was an absolute beast with the Rangers. He led the league in K’s from 40-43 and led the league in WHIP at 43 and 44. Again, in Texas. He had the 3 best WHIP’s of his career at 42, 43, and 44. These kinds of things don’t happen normally. Not only did he not regress, he got much better into his 40’s.

Steroids can help your vision. They can help your focus.  They can help your confidence. Steroids, seriously could have an positive impact on control/command. That being said, leading the league in K’s from 40-43 could have been a result of roids. Ryan led the league in K/9 for 5 straight years from 40-44, Clemens last time leading the league was at 35. While yes, his WHIP was improved by lowering his walk totals, he lead the league in H/9 in 4 out of 5 seasons after turning 40. If Clemens was clearly on juice because what he was unnaturally doing at that age, Ryan was doing more, for a longer period of time, at older ages, yet was just a freak?  You can’t have it both ways.  Ryan improved with age.  Clemens didn’t improve, he just pitched pretty much the way he’d pitched his whole career, but with less stamina. Clemens also went to a much weaker NL, Ryan went to the stronger AL. Clemens continued to do what he’d been doing forever, Ryan just happened to get better when 99% of his peers had retired after regressing for 4 or 5 years. Long story short, there is more damning statistical evidence that Nolan Ryan juiced than Roger Clemens.  I’m not saying he did, but no one can tell me for sure he didn’t.

Why does the mainstream media not want to address what is almost certain, that players in the Hall of Fame used steroids (among other illegal PED’s)?  Is it because they looked away and don’t want to admit they have a part in it?  Is it because the majority of them are old and have the “things were better in the past” mentality?  As sick as I am about discussing steroids in baseball, it’s not that I want the discussion to go away (it won’t), but I want the spectrum opened up.  While I don’t want people to go out of their way to dig for dirt, I want people to acknowledge that there is no set steroid era, there was no true beginning, and there will likely never be an end.  As a current player, I would be rooting for it to come out that a current member of Cooperstown juiced.  Hell, even Pete Rose would work.  The guys who are vilified for juicing in the past 20 years are taking the heat for 40+ years of PED use. Either acknowledge that steroids were a part of the game for a long time, or STFU.

As-of-now Free Agent pitcher Jarrod Washburn.

In following last year’s deadline strategy of dealing away veterans for young prospects, Seattle Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik plans to add a new wrinkle this trade deadline — he’s re-signing last year’s bait, starting pitcher Jarrod Washburn, to a FA contract. Zduriencik has told other league Executives that Washburn will start one game in Saefco Field as an audition and then plans to ship him off for an modest (read: immense) return.

If all goes well, the flyball pitcher playing with one of the best defenses in a pitcher’s park, may yield a return of a top prospect like Domonic Brown of the Phillies or Jesus Montero of the Yankees, Zdiroencik said.

The GM, who took over for perennial laughingstock nitwit Bill Bavasi in 2009, has yet to sign Washburn, who ended up being traded from the Mariners to the Detroit Tigers last year, where he went on to post a record of 1-3 with an ERA of 7.33 in 8 starts for Baghdad Midwest. Washburn also spurned an offer from the Minnesota Twins this past winter, reportedly for $5 million, leading many to believe there was absolutely no market for the veteran right-hander.

Zduriencik, however, said he’s confident he can re-sign the veteran for under $4 million and find a suitor, though as a Free Agent all teams are able to negotiate with Washburn. It’s been reported that Washburn believes his value is highest in larger parks where the ball doesn’t carry well, and he may be open to signing a lower deal to find that situation. He indicated through his agent Scott Boras that he’d also be open to a trade after his value jumped.

Said Zduriencik, “We’re going to take the rest of what we owe Ken Griffey Jr. and give it to Wash. We actually forgot to pay Jr. for the last two months or so, but he never said anything and we kinda just assumed he was asleep. So we pocketed it. We’ve got like $2 million from that, plus what we planned to pay him before he ‘retired’. So we’re good,” he told the Seattle Times on Thursday morning.

Jack Zduriencik, Mariners GM, before a sailing trip with Gordon and his fishermen.

According to SI’s Jon Heyman, who first broke the report, it may not actually be such an outlandish idea. “Someone will give something up for him,” the longtime reporter said. “People always forget that Washburn sucks and always overpay. The Mariners know that better than anyone. It’s like teams don’t even watch him; they just see his final line and think, ‘Hey, he’s pretty good.’ They never remember that he’s pretty much awful anywhere outside of here and maybe Petco. Totally worth the few million dollars for some top prospects,” he said, adding that “Scott Boras is the man.”

For what it’s worth, Washburn still thinks he’s got a lot left in the tank. Despite his questionable peripherals from last year, he feels better and stronger than ever, attributing it to not drinking caffinated beverages, a new workout routine, Lasik eye surgery, a marsupial pouch sewn onto his stomach so he can carry his young son with him while ‘at work,’ and an all-starch diet.

“People forget that I came in 4th in the Cy Young voting in 2002 and I had an ERA of 3.20 in 2005. For fuck’s sake, I had an ERA under 2.65 for half of last year! I know what I’m doing out there and I can help a team, especially with all the work I put in over the winter and throughout the season. I’m excited for a new challenge,” he said from his home in Wisconsin.

Although in exchange for Washburn in 2009,the Tigers shipped off Luke French, thought by most in baseball to be a 5th starter/longman in the big leagues, and Mauricio Robles, a hard-throwing Venezuelan with great stuff and good upside, industry insiders are saying even that type of return for an aging, below-average pitcher is unlikely, although most baseball executives seem to have forgotten who Washburn is in the first place.

To his credit, Zduriencik remains hopeful it will all work out. “I was asking for Austin Jackson for Washburn last year. Fuck no did they do that. I mean, they’re not crazy or anything. But you don’t get what you don’t ask for. We also asked for Robinson Cano for Ryan Langerhaus. The look on their faces. Hah, that was great! It makes asking for Jesus Montero plus 2 top prospects seem reasonable in comparison.”

Zdurienick is counting on the Mariners receiving some good luck, noting that they’re hopeful “some complete moron like Jim Hendry will give us Starlin Castro and Tyler Colvin if we agree to eat Wash’s salary.

Removing his beret, Zdurienick’s face then lit up. With his pointer finger extended toward the ceiling of his office in Saefco, he shouted: “Ohh, wait a second! The Dodgers! They desperately need starting pitching, right? How much says they’ll give up (SS prospect) Dee Gordon along with an arm or two? $20 bucks says Frank McCourt sees that deal and thinks he just saved a few hundred thousand dollars.”

“Is Dave Littlefield still running the Pirates?” he asked. “He might give up McCutchen or Alvarez, though he’d probably forget all about them anyway and they’d be eligible for the Rule V draft,” Zduriencik uttered, laughing hysterically, high-fiving staff members between breaks to play the Nintendo Wii.

The GM also plans to trade starting pitcher Cliff Lee within a few weeks and he’s privately been telling GM’s he’d consider a Twins offer of Morneau, Mauer, Ramos and Hicks; or a Texas offer of Neftali Feliz, Justin Smoak, Josh Hamilton and Ron Washington’s cocaine stash; or possibly BJ Upton, David Price and Desmond Jennings of the Rays but thinks he can do better. They’re also asking the Nationals for Stephen Strasburg, Ian Desmond, Josh Willingham and Bryce Harper as a player-to-be-named-later, though the Natinals appear uninterested.

Privately, other GM’s have said they’re not sure if Zduriencik is crazy or another GM really is that stupid. “I mean, shit, it’s two months of Cliff Lee. To empty the farm for two months for a guy who is almost guaranteed to test free agency? If they can do it good for them, but they’ve already turned down an offer of Ramos and Hicks from the Twins. I doubt they’ll do any better.”

He did add, however, that he saw a guy just called up named “Jared Washenbern,” a pitching prospect the M’s brought over from Germany. “He just threw his first game last night. He might be able to fetch a few good prospects,” he said. “Excellent mechanics.”

I can understand players getting pissed about snubs, and to an extent I can understand teams getting pissed about snubs (for marketing purposes only), but I just don’t get the backlash from fans. Most fans understand that the process itself is pretty stupid, so why get upset about your favorite players? Should Red Sox fans be upset that David Ortiz was elected as a designated hitter even though Kevin Youkilis is a better designated hitter, he just doesn’t “play” that position during the season? No, they shouldn’t.

But they should be outraged that DH is position up for votes (why not put that up a final vote, any good hitter can you know, hit as designated). They should be outraged that a “utility” player is required, leading to Omar Infante as the worst All-Star choice ever. Seriously, the Braves didn’t need a token rep like several bad All-Star selections of years past. They should be outraged that every team requires a player on the team. I pray that Matt Capps comes into a close game this year, as I am sure the AL will score off him. I actually can see the outrage over the process, especially since the games do count. I just don’t get the outrage of players from your team going. I voted for Nick Swisher because I’m the VP of his fan club, but I’ll be damned if I’m not rooting for Kevin Youkilis with the game on the line for the AL team.

The All-Star game is supposed to be fun, and it’s supposed to count. These really need to be mutally exclusive and it’s not. As big a baseball fan as I am, I rarely watch much more than a few innings of the All-Star game anyway, so that’s probably where some of my apathy towards the game comes from. If it was truly an exhibition game and still featured fun moments like Larry Walker hitting right-handed against Randy Johnson, or Cal Ripken moving over to SS in his last appearance I’d watch it. If it were truly taken seriously and the best 25 man roster (not 57 or however many guys make it now) was put on the field to win the game, I’d watch it. What MLB is doing to the game now? No thanks, I’ll stick to Seinfeld re-runs.

Ty Wiggington, seen here doing handy 'utility jobs' for poor people with shitty houses.

From across the bows of the internet ships, you’ve no doubt seen the outrage on behalf of fans and baseball writers alike when the All-Star game rosters were announced. Certainly there were some very, very questionable inclusions. Personally, I, like many others, find some of the choices an affront to objectivity. But there are deeper issues beyond the simple “player X is more deserving than player Y” paradigm to which we’re likely desensitized to at this point.

With the game now having some discernible impact on the larger picture of baseball (and unashamedly too, which itself is comedic), no longer can we simply feign outrage and then say, “It’s just an exhibition anyway. Whatever.” It actually does matter, which is disappointing when the extreme terms and conditions made render it a logistic nightmare, and one that actually dilutes the quality of both teams. That said, we need to bear in mind that although the managers certainly have some autonomy in choosing players, we need to factor in the voting elements beyond their control. Fans vote starters, players get 16-17 picks for the next setting, then the manager can choose nine or ten players, though they’re required to have all teams in the league represented with at least one player. This essentially means the managers actually get about 5 choices themselves and then need to have a utility player, eating one “free” choice.

Some of the choices that have so many in a fury are a result of the player voting. Players, for whatever reason, have the tendency to make gaffes when they choose awards. See pretty much any awards voting of the past 100 years for more evidence. That’s to be expected. Matt Capps has 22 saves. He’s in! Jered Weaver? Who? Is that the guy on the Dodgers with the funny hair? No? Oh, never heard of him then. N0t an All Star.

The players also selected Adrian Gonzalez (over Joey Votto), Tim Lincecum (who’s definitely not having a great season), Phil Hughes, David Price and Clay Bucholz (over Liriano, King Felix and Jered Weaver), Marlon Byrd (Big Z would have been a more entertaining pick), Jon Buck (home runs!), Matt Holliday (not indefensible, but certainly not over Josh Willingham), and David Ortiz (who will spend much of the AS weekend searching for the real story on his steroid allegations). Lots of awful choices.

Managers and MLB — a foolish, dangerous position

The Meek shall inherit the AS game. Mostly because Bud Selig sucks.

For manager/MLB decisions, Girardi chose A-Rod, Wiggington, Carmona, Soria, Cahill, CC/Pettitte. Joe didn’t have much chance to do much with his selections since MLB requires every team has a representative. Carmona is probably the best Indians player eligible (though if Strasburg were selected, so too should Carlos Santana), Cahill or Andrew Bailey the most eligible on the A’s, and Joe had to get Soria before Kansas City sent him to AAA just for shits and giggles. Girardi selected Ty Wiggington as the utility player on the AL. Wiggington is Bodymore, Murdaland’s lone representative (Yo, where’s Wallace at?!). Because these players have to be in per MLB’s rules, Girardi really has his hands tied.

On the NL side, it didn’t go as smoothly as it did for The DHers, even if there are some quirks. Manuel chose Howard, Phillips, Infante, Bourn, Chris Young, Carpenter, Gallardo, Hudson, Evan Meek, and Arthur Rhodes as his choices.

Manuel had an impressive array of just strange decisions here. Arthur Rhodes? First off, I didn’t even know he was still alive, let alone pitching at an “All Star” level (he’s not). Omar Infante? Well, that’s Selig’s hysterical choice; a continuing overreaction from the tie game years ago. It’s like the ex-girlfriend that moved on years prior but he’s still playing around with a hair doll of her, plotting to destroy her credit score as scrambled porn flickers in the background. Chris Young is actually a kind-of decent choice, though for laughs I think Manuel should have brought on Chad “Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds” Qualls as the D-Back rep. He doesn’t mind taking Ryan Howard over superior options, so why not take Qualls?

Evan Meek will be in California to represent the hapless Pirates. Sure, he has an ERA of under 1 and an ERA + of 424, but he’s a middle reliever. Wouldn’t Andrew McCutchen make sense since he’s the only actual player on the team playing at an AS level?  Manuel chose Infante because MLB issued a directive that a utility player must be in the game. The idea is Infante can be inserted into the game whenever and re-enter once, should a position be lost due to injury or the need to get most of the players in the game.

“That made my day. I give Charlie a lot of credit for that,” Chipper Jones said about Infante’s inclusion. He went on to remark, “You usually don’t see the utility guys get their due,” and later said, “Charlie’s doing his homework.” I hope it was sarcasm. And if not, at least some sort of PR move to support Infante, who himself was in disbelief, repeatedly claiming he thought he was traded.

Omar Infante isn't sure whether to "thank" Selig or Charlie Manuel. When beaten to death by Cincinnati fans, I doubt he'll thank either.

In essence, Girardi only selected A-Rod, Thornton and CC/Pettitte. To be fair, Pettitte hasn’t been as good as other pitchers on that list. It’s a damn shame, but that’s Joe’s call. Pettitte also makes it by virtue of him being the next in line in the fan voting, guaranteeing him a spot when Sabathia could not go, per MLB rules. And now, with Bucholz not able to pitch, I’m guessing Girardi will select Liriano or Weaver. Girardi knows what he’s doing and really, overall, it’s been pretty fair. I’ll later discuss why it was the only decision he could really make. A-Rod on the list? Again, it’s nepotism, especially when Adrian Beltre has been the far superior 3B this year and already the second 3B per the player voting. Still, there was really no other choice from Girardi’s vantage.

Fan voting – the power of Mauer

Fans, as we also know, are rarely better. If he were hitting .100/.139/.224, Derek Jeter would likely still be voted the starting shortstop. It’s little more than a popularity contest that simply factors fan allegiance and the traditionalist statistics (avg., rbi, hr, r, w, era, so, sv). Yet somehow the fans have voted Joe Mauer as the leading vote-getter for the Home Run Derby. Brett Gardner has more home runs than Mauer. Brewers pitcher Yovani Gallardo has as many as the Twins catcher with three. To give credit where credit’s due, the fans did a pretty decent job this year. Personally, I’d have voted for Miguel Cabrera over Justin Morneau and (gasp!) Alex Gonzalez over Jeter and made a few tweaks here and there, but really, they made the most complete list. I also would have had Votto as the DH and Pujols as the 1B. Sorry, Adrian.

Nepotism – beyond the pale

Alright, after about 1,200 words, we’re finally tying things down here. Sorry it was a bit long-winded. On the NL side, let’s be real — Ryan Howard is not an All Star. Undoubtedly. Yet he was taken by his manager Charlie Manuel over Joey Votto. Votto is in it for the eerily-titled “Final Vote” with other deserving selection Ryan Zimmerman. Let’s remember that while Manuel (foolishly, according to virtually every statistic available) chose Howard with one of his 5 or so selections, as I said earlier, he had no real choice from the position of pragmatism. It’s a complete no-win situation for the managers. They’re guiding contending clubs to the playoffs, managing a game in which they want to win for their league — and by virtue, team — because it gives them a decided advantage. And they also want to take their own players for the reasons you’d expect. Their ultimate responsibility is to their teams, not necessarily the league. Choosing an A-Rod or a Howard is better for them and their teams.

Recently arrested with Jamarcus Russell for drinking "Purple Drank," which supposedly led to Rhodes, Infante selections.

You can’t ask a guy to make an objective decision with a subjective, ridiculous process that could create a riff in his clubhouse if he chooses “the other guy.” Who knows how those players would react knowing their manager wasn’t “confident” in them? We’d like to say they’d be reasonable and say the other guy had a better half-season and they understand the choice. But athletes are very superstitious, very sensitive, very emotional and may not take a perceived slight well. Ego is part of what brought them to the top. I’m not sure it’s something they could just turn off, especially having been with their respective managers for so long. The managers also have the delicate task of selecting the best players but also not damning themselves. If I’m in Charlie’s place and I know Howard’s going to be pissed, pouty and won’t give me his all if he feels like I hung him out to dry, fuck Joey Votto. My commitment to the upgrade of Votto from Howard on the grounds of equity is laughable if my job could hinge on it. On the other side, people all over quickly say, “Charlie Manuel is a fucking moron. How could you pick Howard over Votto?!” How is either position good for Manuel? And while he should have probably put in Furcal as a utility player, what else could Manuel do when Selig tells him to have a utility player? Ditto that for Girardi. No way he wanted Wiggington, especially at the expense of others.

But let’s also be cognizant of the difficult position of the manager. I’m not personally a fan of the bunt, particularly for an AS game where every player should have the bat in their hands based purely on merit, but I recognize that if the game is going to count for something, a roster (at least for managers) should have players that often positional versatility and ‘little things’ like bunting, and players who are good LOOGY’s (Matt Thornton, who was selected over superior teammates Alex Rios and Paul Konerko, though to be fair 1B is clogged). In many respects, that runs counter to the All Star archetype. Those are the guys who are so good, the ‘little things’ aren’t considered in their games, either because their other accomplishments overshadow them or they’re not utilized because they’re expected to be swinging hard for big hits, etc.

But if it’s a tight game, say 2-1, and the AL is up 2-1 with bases loaded in a late inning and Ryan Howard coming to bat, having a LHP like Thornton who throws 100 mph, is smart roster construction, even if it comes at the expense of more deserving players. If you make the game count for something significant, it should be constructed with versatile players of the manager’s choosing. With the game on the line, there’s a reasonable argument to be made that a manager would prefer a guy who’s an expert bunter. I don’t agree with it, but that’s only “fair” under the current system of contradictions.

It’s a damn shame players like Votto, Willingham, Zimmerman, Liriano, Weaver, Latos weren’t selected and guys like Infante, Ryan Howard, Arthur Rhodes, Ty Wiggington, Evan Meek and others are there, but I’m not sure we’ll ever get to the point where players, fans and managers make the right decisions. And I’m not sure of the solution, though I have a few ideas of what should be scrapped going forward.

Suggestions – Bud Selig must go

"Next year I'm going to have the Running of the Brats races determine home field advantage."

The game making a serious impact on the outcome of the playoffs is another issue, as is Bud Selig’s inexplicable reason to tell managers to have utility players on their rosters. Perhaps the most egregious, however, is the requirement that all teams have a representative. Simply put, that’s absurd. Some teams just don’t have that player. Evan Meek is having a nice season. But it’s not so nice that you need a run-off between 5 far more deserving candidates that play every day. There will always be snubs in the All-Star game, but removing some of the inane rules would go a long way toward reducing that result.

Another thought would be to simply tell some of the players, “Hey, you’re not going to play unless this goes extras” so you don’t need to have more mediocre players snapping up innings because the players, fans or managers felt they were “worthy” of playing 2 innings when most measures say they are not.

I’ve never been a huge fan of the AS game to begin with. It’s a glorified exhibition with a whole platitude of rules that often bar the best talent in the game. Having Arthur Rhodes, Omar Infante and Ty Wiggington play a role in which league has a decided advantage in the World Series, to me, is ridiculous. Don’t make it count. Have W-L records determine it or some pertinent team measure.

Beyond that, I’d like to see the MLB do skills competitions, if possible. Expand the home run derby. Players throwing lasers from the outfield onto a target. Who can throw the fastest pitch? Curveballs and sliders with the most break? Who can hit the longest home runs off a tee? A pure hitting contest in which players have to try to hit to different parts of the field in certain situations would be something I’d like to see. A stolen base competition (which would be good with catchers, too) woud also be fun. These are just off the top of my head, but I’d like to see MLB showcase more of their gifted athletes.

(Photo Credit: Mark J. Terrill, AP)

Over the course of his storied big league career, Pettitte’s always had the label of a “gamer” but not a staff ace, or in the minds of many, a Hall of Famer. When you think of the best pitchers over the last 10 to 15 years, Pettitte’s name probably doesn’t enter the conversation. And they’d be right — Pettitte has rarely been the best pitcher on his own team, let alone one of the best in the game, which is not to say he hasn’t been a very good pitcher for a long time — he has. That alone deserves some pub. Very few guys throw about 15 seasons of 117 ERA+ baseball.

As we look back and reflect on his starts over the course of his career, we should also be mindful that Andy’s started the majority of his games behind some of the worst defensive teams in the modern era. Though those teams were also great-hitting teams and had the greatest closer of all time (boosting his wins), it probably negatively impacted his ERA. While it’s anyone’s guess if this is his last season or not, if he were to go out, it would have a very Mussina-esque feel to it. Here are the stats this year: 10-2, ERA of 2.82, 105 IP, 90 hits, K/BB of 2.52. His last two seasons were quite different, as I’ll explain.

What has Pettitte done differently to go from a mid-4′s ERA mid-to-back-end starter to a guy on pace for a 20-win season and an ERA under 3? Well, not much, really. And yet, tons. Let’s get the basics out of the way: Andy’s generated a .265 BABip against, a number that’s unlikely to remain; a LOB% of 79.5%, and his FIP is a charming but not great 3.93. In short, Number 46 has had considerably good luck this season. His BABip against is roughly 50 points below his career average, his strand rate is about 8 percentage points lower than usual, and his walks and strikes are typical of Andy seasons.

But beyond just luck, Pettitte has pitched very well. It’s not all smoke and mirrors. In fact, the reinvention of Andrew Eugene Pettitte appears to have happened last year. Pettitte is no longer a guy relying on extreme groundball tendencies. Prior to 2009, Andy was generally eliciting a groundball in 50% of at bats or more. Over the past season and a half, it’s been closer to 43-44%, which may also explain the lower BABip (last year was .301). His WHIP is also down to 1.15, which is certainly aided by the low BABip, is also minimal due to the better walk rate at 2.65.

Pettitte’s fastball is better, he’s walking fewer, he’s working his cutter, getting more swinging strikes and more players getting under the ball, which accounts for the 13.7 infield flyball rate, the highest it’s been since 2004. The fastball, I think, may prove to be the biggest step forward. Though he’s working at a slightly lower velocity, it’s been worth 2.1 runs above average this year, a full 8 runs above last year’s total. The cutter hasn’t been as effective this year at 7.2 runs above average (last year was 11.2), but when mixed with a more lethal curveball he throws more often, it’s likely the pitch used to cause infield fly balls and weak contact. Andy’s closing the half season with batters swinging at more pitches outside the zone and less pitches inside the zone, although they are making more overall contact.

We hear all the time that baseball is about constant adjustments. It seems that Andy fundamentally altered the way he faces batters in the 2009 season and 2010 is the more chiseled version of that pitcher. He went from throwing 52% fastballs in his 2008 season with 27% cutters (calling Phil Hughes!) with a 10% usage of his curveball and 6% on his changeup en route to one of his worst professional seasons (per ERA, at least — his other peripherals were fairly good, better than 2007, even). How much of injury factored in is hard to say, but he has changed his approach, that much we know. He’s now throwing more fastballs (57%), fewer cutters (20%), more curves (13-15%) and mixing in a changeup every now and then (still between 6-9%).

It’s also worth noting that the “gamer” bestowment on Andy is actually true. As much as I hate unsubstantiated narrative, this one appears to be true. In his first three innings, Pettitte’s seen opponents hit .286/.340/.436 against him. Of his 36 runs given up this year, 22 came in innings 1-3, and nine of those in the first frame. But after that? Lights out. He’s holding batters to an OPS of about .560 afterwards. Lefties this year have also hit a comical .158/.196/.208 off the Big Bayou Boy in 2010. He’s always been effective against southpaw hitters, but that’s roughly 300 OPS points better than usual. Seriously, that is not a typo.

Zips predicts Andy to throw a 6-5 record with an ERA of 4.59 and an FIP of 4.24 in 96 innings. I see why they’re bearish on him, it’s unlikely he can continue with such good fortune (though he has sustained a LOB% of near 80% once in his career, his 2005 season in Houston), but there seems to be good reason to believe he can keep the BABip lower than he has historically, and his SO/BB has climbed as the season has progressed, indicating he’s hitting his groove.

Pettitte’s career, like that of his teammates Jeter, Posada and Mo, is that of an outlier. He’s still successful not because he has the good fortune of having amazing stuff, but because he’s able to adjust his approach as hitters have taken advantage of his mistakes and shortcomings. And really, that’s the mark of a great player. He may not be a 200 IP, 200 K, 3.00 ERA pitcher, but there’s good reason to believe if he continues to work on his craft — as I expect him to — he can be the 200 IP, 150 K, 3.80-4.15 ERA pitcher he’s been for the better part of his career.

Is it that they get complacent? I suppose it’s possible, but doesn’t that fly in the face of the supposed “closer’s bulldog mentality”? Beyond that, are we even sure that the numbers are worse in non-save situations? We hear about it, but I’ve yet to see a report on it. One with numbers and not narrative, at least. By now you probably see where I’m going with all this. That’s right, I’m going to take a look at 2010′s closers with ten or more saves and see if there really are any drastic numbers.

From L to R: ERA in save situations; ERA in non-save situations; WHIP in save sit.; WHIP in non-save sit.; IP in save sit.; IP in non-save sit.; OPS against in save situations; OPS against in non-save sit.

The spreadsheet is all screwy. My bad. Also, I realize this isn’t the most scientific of posts —WHIP and ERA are not the best measurements of how successful a pitcher is in a situation and neither is OPS against, and the sample could be quite a bit bigger— but I think this gives us a fairly good snapshot of how the players perform in both respective situations. If there’s another study on this (one that’s more comprehensive and perhaps use better metrics), let me know. The prevailing wisdom —or at least effused by such luminaries as the ESPN BBTN crew during the game— is that closers perform better in save situations. For some, this is true. For others, it couldn’t be further from the truth.

After averaging all the totals, according to ERA, closers in nSS are actually better, albeit not by a great amount at 2.93 to 2.90. In total, 10 of the 25 closers are better in SS in ERA. Whoa there! What appears to have made the largest difference in the discrepancy is the zeros thrown up by Mariano, Jose Valverde and Brian Wilson in a collective 38.2 innings.

Jose Valerde, either celebrating or doing something illegal.

Let’s see how they do on WHIP. According to the data — which, remember, is only from 2010, so it’s by no means comprehensive — closers in SS do slightly better, notching a WHIP of 1.17 to 1.23 in nSS. Quite a few players have much better WHIPS in save situations than in non-save — Dotel is significantly better (.0927 to 2.206!), as are Soriano, Jenks and Aardsma.

If I can just make a stray observation here, holy ‘badZonaroni, look at Chad Qualls’s numbers. Straight up, his ERA in non-save situations this year is AJ Burnett’s June. In save opportunities, he’s roughly Chad Gaudin. His WHIP is almost 2.5 in non-save situations and players are hitting a Ruthian 1.277 OPS against him.

How can your bullpen be SO BAD that you seriously put the guy who faces a lineup of Babe Ruth’s every time out, the role of closer? For a moment, sit back and imagine waking up one morning to find out that Boone Logan replaced Mariano Rivera as the Yankee closer. Then think that he was actually the best guy to take the job, considering the incredible sucktitude of the others. At that point, I’d probably get my asshole all wet, sit next to an electrical socket and put one end of a fork in the butt hole and the other in the wall hole. It would be better than watching the baseball-related travesty on television.

Back to the action. OPS says that closers in the non-save spot do better than those in save situations. Again, as the numbers bear out again, there are wild differences in how some perform. Joakim Soria suffocates batters in NSS but suddenly crumbles when he needs to channel his inner-bulldog. Jenks pitches fairly respectably but loses his shit when there’s no opportunity for the save.

Neftali Feliz and Rafael Soriano put it in beast mode when the SS is up, but are somewhat less impressive when the leverage is lower. Others have the opposite trend going. Cordero, Soria, Franklin, Rauch, F-Rod, Capps and Heath Bell are all way better when the game isn’t “on the line”. Most of the others are fairly even between situations, though that doesn’t mean their numbers aren’t eye-popping. Look at Jose Valverde and Mariano Rivera’s numbers on the year. For all his antics and dance party theatrics, Valverde has good reason to celebrate. The Tigers closer is rendering batters he faces into Ramiro Pena.

"When did you win this, Joe?" "No way to tell." "Because you can't predict the future?" "Correct."

While I haven’t figured out why pitchers do or do not perform better in the two “situations,” I think I’ve at least cast some doubt that closers are uniformly great in the 9th and struggle otherwise. There are some drastic splits on both sides of the aisle, and this idea is likely some media-based, false-narrative myth. We’d need to look for more into the context of each situation and eventually compile enough raw data over the course of seasons to draw any real conclusions. Frankly, I’m not up for that kind of research project.

My guess is we’d likely see more of what we see here on this spreadsheet. Some do better in one, some better in others, most with little great difference. Maybe some really don’t “care” as much when they’re not in line for a save, grow complacent and get hit around. Perhaps they’re pitching to contact to limit walks and baserunners. Maybe others just aren’t mentally-designed to “handle” the pressure of a save situation but excel when they don’t have the world watching as closely. Whatever the case, I’m secure in my belief that Joe Morgan is wrong about virtually everything in life.

There may be nothing funnier than this. I only hope he was hit because he'd just unsuccessfully tried to start the wave.

Here’s how it went: Phil Hughes got completely hit around. He couldn’t locate pitches, he couldn’t shut down the guys he needed to (scrub nobodies like Jack Wilson, Rob Johnson and Michael Saunders), he threw nothing but cutters and fastballs. Ultimately, we saw Hughes give up 7 runs (6 earned) on the evening. This had nothing to do with him having his start skipped last turn around. That’s absurd. The sample size of this causing his struggles is one game. More likely it’s that he had poor command of his pitches, left them in the zone and got tagged. That happens, even against a team of shit-hitters like the Mariners.

It’s not like Hughes was burning through batters lately. In his last four starts he’s 3-1, but his ERA in that span is 6.59. It’s better that his start was skipped for the simple reason that Hughes is on an innings limit and it’s far more advantageous to have Hughes contributing later in the season. You don’t want innings limits, pitch counts, conservative pragmatic approaches to managing a valuable, high-ceiling arm? Petition for Dusty Baker to coach the team and for Nolan Ryan to take over as GM.

The offense largely sputtered through the game, though Nick Swisher and Curtis Granderson contributed nicely, the former with 2 home runs and the latter with a few hard-hit balls against a lefty. The rest of the team went 4 for 30, though to their credit they hit a few balls very solidly, all unfortunately at Mariner defenders. There’s absolutely no shame in the team not putting a whole lot together against Cliff Lee. I mean, shit, he’s been one of the best pitchers in baseball for the last few years. He’s legit. I’m hoping he becomes a Yankee next season. A 1-2-3-4 of CC, Cliff Lee, Phil Hughes, AJ Burnett would be murder on any opponent. If there’s a silver lining it’s that Paul O’Neill Theory may be in effect. They put together a nice rally in the 9th before Chad Huffman haphazardly swung at the first pitch, weakly popping out.

Speaking of Chad Huffman, is it just me or does Chad Huffman make everything in left field look SUPER difficult? Most unnatural fielder I’ve seen since I spent hours in a dark room watching clips of Adam Dunn playing RF.

Crazy 8′s

Zambrano issued his mea culpa. Everything now A-ok in Cubbie Land.

Good news, M&A readers! I was able to find an advanced copy of Carlos Zambrano’s apology to his fellow teammates and fans for his outbursts last week. Here it is:

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault that this organization signed Derek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Kosuke Fukodome, Alfonso Soriano and myself all to big-money, flexibility-killing deals. Did you know that combined, we have a WAR of 3.5 this year? Guess how much money we combine to make? Over $77 million for just the five of us. These deals were way above market rates and generally at least two years too long. Sorry about that one. Really. My bad. Oh, but hey, at least you have Carlos Silva at over $11 million for the next few years. Ace.

It’s also my fault that instead of having a dedicated owner who would do whatever it took to contend (like Mark Cuban), the fans are stuck with an owner who — out of pure coincidence, I’m sure — is friends with Bud Selig and just happened to submit a lower ownership bid. Again, it’s my fault fans are stuck with an inferior product but pay top dollar to see it – not the ownership or GM Jim Hendry, who, you know, had nothing to do with assembling this whole mess.

It’s also my fault that the players on this team hate each other so much that in spite of good talent, we under-perform so badly that we have priests blessing us before games, throwing salt over shoulders. Also my bad that players are pledging to kill other players’ wives if they choose Team Edward over Team Jacob. We also sacrifice goats and bathe Kosuke with the blood against his will. Saw that on a Japanese porno once. Ok, maybe that one is really just on me. Anyway, we probably won’t have any chance of doing anything noteworthy aside from being a Clippers-like sideshow for the next three or four years. Or maybe 100 years. That’s my fault, too. Again, Cubs fans, it’s all my fault this team has underperformed for years and there isn’t any light at the end of the tunnel. Getting on my teammates for not making any effort to catch balls because they’re indifferent little shits who don’t even feign a work ethic, was totally uncalled for. For that I sincerely apologize.

It’s not Lou Pinella’s fault that this team is lifeless and argue constantly; that GM Jim Hendry has compiled an impressive array of under-performing veterans with awful contracts, a dearth of impact young talent (and when there, are often inexplicably given sporadic playing time), and no financial flexibility; and also, ownership, who seem to have a vested interest in maintaining the 100-plus years of ineptitude as tradition here in Wrigley. So sorry for what I’ve put you through.”

Notes from around the league:

*Harold Reynolds actually believes that Puerto Rico is a country. He actually said it tonight. Seriously. The worst part of this is I actually thought: “Oh that Harold, sending cryptic messages to Jon Kruk.”

*Barry Larkin said that only guys with facial hair can be intimidating as a closers. I’m not making that up. Have you ever heard of Mariano Rivera?

Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria.

*Edwin Rodriguez is now slated to be the Marlins manager for the rest of 2010.

Thoughts on the Marlins: I really don’t understand how they have any fan base whatsoever. What’s the business process there? This is what I assume is Loria’s 12-step business model.

Step 1: Find old white people, Cubans. Step 2: Get them really, really drunk. So drunk they have no idea where they are. Bus them to that awful “park” the Dolphins used to play in. Step 3: Blow out their ear drums with vuvuzelas. Step 4: Give them more alcohol. Step 5: Spend $20 million on baseball team. Step 6: Steal money from other baseball teams. Step 7: Use stolen money to buy more shitty Jackson Pollack paintings. Step 8: Develop great young talent. Then trade them when they start making more than minimum wage (or turn 25) for prospects. Step 9: Complain to drunk, deaf old people and Cubans that you don’t have any money and you’ll move the team if you don’t get a new stadium and more paintings. Step 10: Steal more money. Step 11: ?????? Step 12: Profit.

*Hank Blalock has been DFA’d by the Rays. If there’s one team that know a thing or two about sunk costs, it’s the Rays. Blalock has been just brutal. Matt Joyce was finally given a bit of playing time, though he’s underperformed. In fairness to him, most of the Rays have underperformed lately. They just lost another one, this game to the Red Sox. Hopefully the two teams split the series so they each stay a few games back of the Yanks.

*Denard Span had three triples tonight! Three! And Gordon Beckham didn’t go 0 for 5 with 5 strikeouts! Wacky day, indeed!