It’s been quite a day in sports, particularly in soccer and baseball. I heard there were also two guys on a tennis court doing something historic, but it’s men’s tennis – one of the few sports where the women are far better to watch. Until they make a true commitment to spicing up men’s tennis (play in Bosnia, Europe’s minefield capital? Have judges shoot them with paintball guns? Make the loser fight a tiger with only his racket?), I’d rather not waste time watching that. Whatever. Anyway, here’s a quick roundup:

Baseball

A Freddie Gonzalez slumpbuster?

*Jeffrey Loria fired manager Freddie Gonzalez this morning. Freddie “Fuck Hanley” Gonzalez was probably making over $75,000 that year, which according to Loria, was exorbitant considering the stacked roster he inherited and the team’s performance. I feel bad for the guy. That was a no-win situation. It’s never a good sign when your clubhouse leader is Wes Helms, he of the career .320 wOBA. Even if Hanley is wrong, that guy going at 50% effort is 1000 times better than everyone not named Josh Johnson. Shut the fuck up, Wes. Rumors are Bobby Valentine is in the mix to take over for Freddie.

Why on earth would he do that? No way they make the playoffs, no way they’re adding payroll. It’s a very young team that will struggle to hit the .500 mark. What’s the upside there? He’d have a rotation with a stud ace (that they may trade), a stud SS, a few good-but-underachieving young guys and an awful owner. There is no gain there. None. He’d be a fool to take that job. On the other hand, for comic relief, I really hope his Baseball Tonight buddy Jon Kruk is offered the job. I can only imagine he’d somehow miss games by mistaking one of his hands for a sandwich and losing a finger or two.

*A report surfaced that Johan Santana was accused of sexual battery last October. According to the report, the Mets pitcher was golfing with a girl and then forced her to say, “New York-big, ZZ?” repeatedly. He unhooked her bra, began to kiss her until deciding to play around with her underwear (no details on what type? Awful journalism. It’s in the details!). In wonderful fashion, the Venezuelan then ejaculated on her thigh. All the while the speakers on the golf course blasted “Smooth” by Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas (!) — his walk-up music. According to the report, she said “no” a number of times. In a fashion remarkably similar to my dates, after all that, she watched him play tennis. Let me repeat that – after being sexually molested by this very man, she thought to herself, “It would be awfully rude if I left while he got in a game of tennis.” It sounds like Johan is a quick finisher, so I doubt the game resembled the one we saw at Wimbledon (hiyooooo!). And it sounds like bullshit, too. She wants some money. I wonder if she’ll hang out with a notable quarterback living in the Pittsburgh area.

Soccer:

*What can be said about Team USA? I thought they were starting to resemble Team England for a while. We’ll get to the officiating later, but holy Jesus, they had about fifteen-twenty really good opportunities to score. By the 90th minute I’d decided that if they tied or lost the game, it would be on them —not the refs— they had the chanes and squandered them.

That being said, goodness, the officiating is outrageous. We complain about baseball having egregious calls with seemingly no rational explanation. That’s true. But just as much of baseball umpiring antics seem to come as a result of pride and the baffling need to be “a part” of the game, interjecting their own will to determine the outcome, not simply missing calls and making the wrong call on close plays.

Now I’m not a big follower of soccer, so I can’t say with any certainty that the refs are not like this. But what I’ve seen comes out of general incompetence. The Algerian team showed what seemed to be a concerted effort to play a tough game, seemingly fouling left and right. Few calls were made. And of course, the goal on Dempsey was overturned on another bogus offsides call. If the US had been knocked out this game, I think many of the fans who may have potentially turned the corner and followed the sport would just as quickly abandon it. But now, in spite of the atrocious refereeing, Team USA has a more favorable draw against Ghana in the next round, right on the heels of what could be their biggest win in history. Miraculously, just as the end seemed near, Landon “Hairlino Recedo” Donovan knocked one in after stoppage. It was surreal. One of the most thrilling moments in recent sporting history. The stakes were great and this could be the moment that draws long-term interest in soccer in the States.

Of course, people have been saying that for years and yet it’s still very much a second class citizen. I find that somewhat surprising, considering youth soccer in the States is quite good. But it really levels off when those players enter high school, where they’re drawn to more popular, traditional American sports. I think if the top European leagues drew wide viewership (have a soccer network accessible to US viewers that show the top leagues), it may make steady progress. Of course, this is a country that is very Ameri-centric when it comes to sports and require that the leagues be featuring the best talent in the world, and MLS offers none of the sort, nor is it shown on television with regularity. So it may not ever take off.

NBA:

Nets fans in their natural habitat.

*The Nets traded away Chris Douglas-Roberts to the Bucks for the 44th pick in the NBA draft. This is all in the effort to get further under the cap and potentially use this pick (they have 3, 27, 31, 44 now) as a package for another team. Frankly, this doens’t make a heck of a lot of sense to me. If you wanted to move up in the draft, why not just package picks 27 & 31. That should get you a top 16 pick.

I just don’t see a big-ticket FA like Wade, LeBron, Bosh joining New Jersey. They’ll probably draft Wesley Johnson, a nice player but will likely never be a top small forward in the league. Seems like a mistake. May as well get the upside of Favors. He has unbelievable potential. Then again, the grumbling is they’re looking to target a PF in FA, probably Amare or (gasp) Carlos Boozer. You’re then left with a lineup of Harris, Lee, Johnson, Amare/Boozer, Lopez. Not bad, but I find it underwhelming.

We can't lose a Game 7 to this guy

So here we are tonight for Game 7 of the NBA Finals.  I was unsure whether I would be doing this again tonight, but when a picture like the one to the left shows up on the internet, and you have been blogging about the Celtics and Lakers, it has to be done.  I mean seriously, I didn’t know they made Dooney and Burke purses that big.  Pau Gasol is one huge sweaty llama and that thing takes up a lot of space.  Considering it’s clearly a woman’s purse (the trim, print and chain give it away, oh, and it’s a purse) I can’t imagine seeing someone with a vagina haul it around.  Wait, I already am.

Pregame Notes

*In what has to be considered frightening for Celtics fans, I think Rasheed Wallace is a huge key tonight.  With starting center Kendrick Perkins out, the Celtics will need a good 30-35 minutes out of Rasheed tonight. Which one shows up, the one who puts his Hall of Fame caliber talent to good use, or the one who combines his Hall of Fame talent with a rec league effort?  He’ll need to crash the boards, pester Purse Gasol on defense and make some shots on offense while staying out of foul trouble.  I can almost guarantee he gets a technical tonight, which will draw him an automatic suspension for opening night next year.  As Sheed has said, he’s not here for the regular season anyway.

*Rajon Rondo is the straw that stirs the Celtics drink.  More than anyone else, this team goes as he goes.  They struggle to win when he’s playing bad, and are almost unstoppable when he’s playing good.  Need a big one out of him tonight. [...]

History repeating itself?

Here is the 5^th and hopefully final installment of the In Game Observations: NBA Finals edition.  The Celtics and Lakers are back in Los Angeles with the Celtics leading 3-2.  Kobe Bryant finally played a great game in Game 5, but still was nowhere to be found in the 4^th quarter.  Ray Allen is lost, maybe getting back in LA will get his shot going away, but the last 3 games have been some of the worst of Ray’s Hall of Fame career.  If Paul Pierce plays as well he did in Game 5, the Celtics will be on the right track.  Andrew Bynum’s knee continues to be an issue, and the Pau Gasol who dominated early in the series will need to show up for the Lakers to compete tonight.  The more Kobe goes into “give me the ball and get out of the way mode” the better for the Celtics.  Kobe cannot win this on his own.

Pregame Notes

*Apparently Christina Aguilera is singing the National Anthem.  What took so long?  Game 6 of the NBA Finals pitting the two biggest rivals in the game, and it took until Game 6 to get someone relevant to sing the Anthem?  What would have happened had the series ended in 4 or 5?  The only person having a worse series than Ray Allen is whomever picked the Anthem singers.  Allen had Game 2, that guy has Game 6.  Other than that they have come up short. [...]

Here we go again as I liveblog Game 5 of the NBA Finals between the Celtics and Lakers.  In Game 4 I was able to break the Mystique and Aura “In Game Observation post” Curse.  Check out Game 1 here and Game 3 here.  You’ll notice that there is no Game 2, which occurred when I had a power outage and had to listen to Game 2.  Seeing as how games 3 and 4 played out, I still have no visual proof that Ray Allen set a record for 3 points in an NBA finals game, and I doubt it truly happened. I have seen Ray Allen attempt 14 3 pointers this series and make zero.  And I’m supposed to believe the one game I didn’t witness he went 8-11?

Pregame Notes

A couple big questions for Game 5.  How will Andrew Bynum’s knee respond, can he give the Lakers 30 good minutes?  Will Kobe Bryant’s 4^th quarter disappearing act continue as in Games 3 and 4?  Will Ray Allen make a shot?  Will two of the Big 3 get it going?  Can the Celtics bench come up big again?  Can Rasheed Wallace and Kendrick Perkins play aggressive and avoid 7th technicals that would lead to suspension?  Has Pau Gasol showered?

We will get answers to most of these questions and more tonight, and I truly think the winner of this game wins the series (I reserve the right to change my mind if the Lakers win).  If the Lakers win I don’t see the Celtics going back to LA and winning two straight at the Staples Center.  If the Celtics win, I see them going into Staples and winning the one they need, as they have already shown they can win there, and were better on the road this year.

[...]

Really hope I see this dude again in about 3 hours

Tonight is the night I break the Mystique and Aura in game post curse.  The teams we are rooting for are now 0-4, and if I hadn’t lost power for Game 2, the Celtics could have been looking at a huge hole right now.  It all ends tonight.  Follow along as the Celtics find a way to win.  The rumor around Boston is that Ray Allen and Paul Pierce’s plane back from L.A. has finally landed, just in time for Game 4.  We are still unsure however, if their taxi will get them to the Garden in time.  Check out the in-game posts for Game 1 and Game 3.

Pregame Observations: The Celtics need 2 of the Big 3 to play well as well as get a solid game from Rondo.  Kendrick Perkins has been a shell of himself, seemingly afraid of picking up a T and getting suspended.  He needs to get aggressive or he’s useless anyway.  Tony Allen needs to continue to play Kobe tough on D and just get the hell out of the way on offense.

For the Lakers, getting a better game out of Kobe will be big, as he struggled in Game 3 as Derek Fisher carried the Lakers to victory.  If Andrew Bynum can’t play, Lamar Odom will need to have a huge game, as Bynum has been a beast inside this series, especially at the defensive end.  Ron Artest needs to not do something completely crazy, only his normal crazy. [...]

Tonight I’ll be providing in game updates of the NBA Finals Game 3 between the Celtics and Lakers tonight at the Shawmut/Fleet Center TD Banknorth Boston Garden.  I am currently day to day with a finger injury (on a glass measuring cup of all things), so expect some typos.  Hey, I’m only human.  Vince Carter would be sitting this one out if he were me, and JD Drew would be getting an epidural.  Check out my Game 1 observations here.  For my Game 2 in game observations I only have this:  Listening to a basketball game on the radio sucks.  Listening to your favorite team in the NBA Finals on the radio by candlelight because your power out is downright turrrible.

Pregame Notes

*Keys for the Celtics tonight will be to push the ball and have Rondo be aggressive.  When he’s going to the hole, it opens up the court for everyone else.  When he doesn’t, the offense is stagnant and turns into 4 guys watching Paul Pierce go 1 on 1.  The Celtics also need Kevin Scalabrine, err Garnett to show up on the boards.  He doesn’t need to score and he’s not going to completely stop Pau Gasol, but he absolutely has to hit the glass. [...]

Donnie Wahlberg, likely after KG missed two gimmes within 2 feet of the hoop (Michael Buckner/Getty Images)

So Pau Gasol said that Kevin Garnett has lost a step, and its being treated as news?  Personally, I think Gasol is being kind.  Anyone who has watched Garnett in the past two years knows that he has lost a few steps, not just one.  As a guy who came straight from High School and played a lot early, Garnett has a ton of miles on his legs.  Not only has he lost steps, but he should have.  He just turned 34, but he’s an old 34.  To put his minutes in perspective he has already played more minutes in his NBA career (reg. and postseason) than, among others, Bird, McHale, Barkley, Pettit, and is about a season behind Russell.  The majority of these guys were running on fumes at the end of their careers while KG has 2 years and $40 million left on his contract. [...]

Follow me tonight for Game 1 of the NBA Finals, pitting the Boston Celtics vs. the Los Angeles Lakers (of Anaheim?).  I’m going up against Bill Simmons, and while he has a decided advantage, ESPN.com’s chat software is so terrible I might have a chance.  Seriously, they changed their chat software, what a year ago, and it’s still not fixed?  Ok, rant over.  Let’s see how this works, check out JMK’s live blogging of Yankee games here and here.  I can promise it will be whiskey free, though alcohol free might be a stretch.  As you may know, the Celtics/Lakers finals rivalry has been a lot like the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry, in that one team has the decided advantage.  The Celtics have dominated, as the Lakers have won just 2 times in their previous 11 Finals meetings.  Here’s hoping for more of the same in 2010. [...]